Property Theft


I lose my phone a lot. Like twice, sometimes three times a day. So when it went missing this weekend, I didn’t think much about it. But Scott and I tore up the house and car looking for it, and I started to consider it gone for good. I called the zoo, where I’d had it last, to make sure nobody had turned it in. No.

So I called T-mobile to see if I would lose my phone number if I replaced it. The woman explaining that I could keep my phone number, even if I had to have a new SIM card, also mentioned, “You have $7.95 worth of internet usage on it at this time.”. And that’s when I knew.

Right up until that moment, I’d never even considered the possibility. The phone is a couple of years old, its shell is cracked and peeling, and it’s just not a “keeper” device. We didn’t have a data plan on it. And if we didn’t have a data plan and it had eight bucks of internet use, then Baby, it was stolen.  However, the thief probably got sick of figuring out how to configure Facebook and threw it out the car window, which is why only eight bucks of damage occurred.

But at some point, someone took a picture.

And unknowingly posted it to my T-mobile account.

See, that particular phone has this annoying feature. Every time you snap a pic, it asks “Do you want to upload to ‘my album’”? And you click “yes” or “no”. And then, about half the time, whichever one you pick, it asks again “Do you want to upload to my album?” Sooner or later, even an intelligent person is going to screw up and click ‘yes’ when meaning ‘no’.

So, I’m not going to accuse this person ….

See? This person may be a ghost. It's October, I lost the camera at zoo boo, and he is surrounded by a bright white light.

The guy in front.

Note the white light. Maybe a halo.

Him.

Just look at his serious face. How humble the expression. I'm serious people. Ghost or angel.

Of being kind of dumb. After all, it’s a mistake I’ve made
myself.

Nor am I going to accuse him of stealing my phone. After all, he could have just accidentally picked it up after somebody else stole it, then navigated the three screens to the camera and snapped a self portrait.

In fact, I’m going to assume that’s exactly what he did. And from that assumption, I can only reach one logical conclusion. The worst. I think this man may be in trouble. This picture is a message to me. A cry for help. Here is a soul suffering, and only I can
save him. But you’ve got to help me out. Since, after all, he and I are only connected through the slender thread of this picture uploaded through my phone, the only way I can possibly find him is by circulating his image on the web.  Please, help me find this man, and maybe, together, he and I can restore my phone to its rightful place. My hand.

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10 thoughts on “Property Theft

  1. Holy crap! Ghost, Angel, Fuck Up?? I’m not so sure you want to meet this guy! I vote to leave him to Ghost Busters, Angel Management or, more likely, Law Enforcement and Human Services. Screw the phone.

    • Doubt law enforcement has much time to look for him. My two year old phone isn’t likely to be a very high priority when there are far more serious crimes committed daily. The only way he’d face repercussions for my phone is if he got run in for something else.

  2. what idiot takes a picture of themselves after STEALING a phone? This is ridiculous….. Even if he didn’t take it I’m sure he figured it out after he went through the phone, pictures, numbers, etc. I hope this fool sees the blog and/or fb post and feels like the A** he is!!

  3. Pingback: Friday Fluff: Jan 20th 2012 | Jester Queen

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