I lose my phone a lot. Like twice, sometimes three times a day. So when it went missing this weekend, I didn’t think much about it. But Scott and I tore up the house and car looking for it, and I started to consider it gone for good. I called the zoo, where I’d had it last, to make sure nobody had turned it in. No.
So I called T-mobile to see if I would lose my phone number if I replaced it. The woman explaining that I could keep my phone number, even if I had to have a new SIM card, also mentioned, “You have $7.95 worth of internet usage on it at this time.”. And that’s when I knew.
Right up until that moment, I’d never even considered the possibility. The phone is a couple of years old, its shell is cracked and peeling, and it’s just not a “keeper” device. We didn’t have a data plan on it. And if we didn’t have a data plan and it had eight bucks of internet use, then Baby, it was stolen. However, the thief probably got sick of figuring out how to configure Facebook and threw it out the car window, which is why only eight bucks of damage occurred.
But at some point, someone took a picture.
And unknowingly posted it to my T-mobile account.
See, that particular phone has this annoying feature. Every time you snap a pic, it asks “Do you want to upload to ‘my album’”? And you click “yes” or “no”. And then, about half the time, whichever one you pick, it asks again “Do you want to upload to my album?” Sooner or later, even an intelligent person is going to screw up and click ‘yes’ when meaning ‘no’.
So, I’m not going to accuse this person ….
The guy in front.
Of being kind of dumb. After all, it’s a mistake I’ve made
Nor am I going to accuse him of stealing my phone. After all, he could have just accidentally picked it up after somebody else stole it, then navigated the three screens to the camera and snapped a self portrait.
In fact, I’m going to assume that’s exactly what he did. And from that assumption, I can only reach one logical conclusion. The worst. I think this man may be in trouble. This picture is a message to me. A cry for help. Here is a soul suffering, and only I can
save him. But you’ve got to help me out. Since, after all, he and I are only connected through the slender thread of this picture uploaded through my phone, the only way I can possibly find him is by circulating his image on the web. Please, help me find this man, and maybe, together, he and I can restore my phone to its rightful place. My hand.