Confession. When I was a teen, I used to take quizzes obsessively. I subscribed to Sassy magazine and thrived on its multiple choice options. I obsessed over the scores and tried to decide if the answers were accurate, or if they even applied to me, since I hadn’t been able to find anything very close to my own experiences in the possibilities.
I do not miss those days.
Which is why, when some of my favorite bloggers like Dawnie and Alyssa started completing quizzes written by teenagers and answering them with grown up sarcasm, I laughed heartily and then moved on. Because, I don’t miss those days.
But the more I read, the more I found myself interjecting my own snarky, sarcastic answers. And when a new blog that I’d only just started reading, Seeking Elevation, had even more funny responses to these misspelled, absurdly worded, bizarre questions, I couldn’t hold back any longer.
It happens once a week. It’s called Friday Fluff. If you want to play, this week’s questions (Jan. 13) came from here. Next week’s questions (Jan 20) will be from here. And when you’re done, you can linkup over at Seeking Elevation, like I’m about to do.
Are you an early riser?
No. But I love the song “Early Morning Riser” by Pure Prairie League.
Do you shower before or after work?
In the middle actually
Do you have a gym mebership?
No, but I am a meMber of the Y.
Do you go to the gym everyday?
Let’s talk grammar. “everyday” Is a compound word. It means commonplace. It should be used in phrases like “an everyday occurrence”. Every [space] day means “each day”. And no.
Do you take unscheduled breaks at work?
You assume I’m “at work” when I’m working. Next question.
Are you tired during the day?
Does a bear shit in the woods?
Do you stop at a grocery store every day?
Not even when I worked at one.
At week ends you stay home all day in your pajamas watching tv?
So much to go with on this one. I’ll have to go with “I hate TV”.
You have a few drinks in the evening?
That sentence was declarative; it should have ended in a period. And some evenings, yes.
If you are retired, are you online most of the day?
Wait. You assumed I was “at work” four questions ago. Now you want to know if I’m retired? Excusez-moi. Je crois que vous êtes confus.
Do you cook?
Do you eat out most of the time?
Do you spend lots of time on the phone?
No. On rare occasions, I’ll get a call from someone I have not spoken with in too long, and we will spend three or four hours gabbing. But even at that, it doesn’t stretch out to be enough to justify my cell plan most months.
If at work, do you chat online on company’s time or texting?
Now we’re back to assuming I’m at work. What is it with you?! And by “chat” do you mean “IM” or “talk on the phone”? And what is “texting’s time”?
If there’s a party on Sunday night and you have to work in the morning, do you party anyways?
It’s “anyway” and hell yes, I do. I have years of being a geeky teen who didn’t get invited to parties at all to make up for. Unfortunately, all my friends probably have to work, too, so odds are, we’re all done by 9 o’clock.
Do you take a day off from work just so you can go shopping or fishing?
If I were remotely interested in either activity, I might. As I’m not, I don’t.
Do you feel great when you get up in the morning?
This is a trick question, right? To see if I’ve changed my mind from number one? Let’s put it this way. My sleep shirts all have messages. One says “Punish the Perky”. Another says “I’m awake. What more do you want?”
Do you feel like your daily duties are more like KP duty?
Many of my duties are kitchen patrol duties. Except my saint of a husband does even more of those than I do, so we don’t live in a sty.
Do you go to bed before midnight?
Do you take an afternoon nap?